Monday, 7 October 2013

Domestic Violence: Stop Tolerating and Step UP

For many days, I want to write about this topic but always stopped by thinking that everybody know about it, specially a family where couple exists. These crime based shows are showing all type of cases to spread awareness but Now I feel that you can’t rectify any mistake until you know that things are wrong .For example one of thing is domestic violence or assault. People don’t take this as wrong behavior in Indian society.  I am not discussing this because I am woman, I am picking it because I am a human and I believe that each human deserve a basic level of respect at every level.

 Domestic violence is not gender biased. It is behavior or mentality which executed by your dear ones or near ones. This cannot be tag as per gender.

 I know that it is common to believe that domestic violence is something which always done by male to female or kids. I am not agreeing with common definition. But it is easy and obvious to have misconception since our Indian society always empowers male to judge, behave, take decision, being bread earner, rough, protector, tough and so on ... People always believe women or kid are easy target for become victim of any crime. Woman became weaker by becoming victim of domestic violence since they suppose to be habitual of mistreatment whereas male suppose to fight. 
At some point this pressure to become protector and provider which cam break them at mental level which leads to committing crimes like rape, domestic violence, abuse n all. Anyway I have so many things on this topic which keep forcing me to express and i tried to ignore a lot this since I always feel nobody can help you until you want. 
But today at some point I feel that creeping or complaining about bad things and keep discussing them as group discussion is not going to help anybody. Now if somebody ask me what can be solution or reason of any social problem then I can reply in one word.. …Awareness!!!!

                   


Yes, reason can be lack of knowledge or less awareness about things that how things or behavior should be and at same time I feel that long term solution is also can be awareness about it.
I am writing my views on domestic violence to spread awareness, my purpose is not to show mirror to coward person who behave ridiculously inhuman and un-natural.

But Of course from old stone days to modern IT age, 99 % women and children are main sufferer of domestic violence. So for greater good , my pen will go in way of weaker side. 

Here I am not going to expect from male of our society to change their mentality or behavior towards ladies around them. Because currently a basis step is required against  domestic violence. We have to remember that any woman will get the respect she needs if first she will respect herself.  We woman need to understand that if you keep pursuing as object or statue of duty urself only then of course people will be take you for granted and set expectation for you. If at any moment you will fail to one inch below that expectation then you will become a careless, ruthless, sanskarhin modern age woman who does not have sense to carry herself or family and all above if you are working then you became arrogant too.

In our society a girl is always teach by her family that girl should have patience as virtue. She should live as her husband provides. So, getting abused or scold by husband should be very normal for a woman like having water in our society. After all a woman should be symbol of love, kindness and she should have sole responsibility to maintain peace and sanskar of house. Same time male person can get angry with any reason and mistreat the woman of their life. By watching around and of course popular TV shows where so called male lead mistreat the female …she cries for some years then happy ending after transformation of male lead and  treats female lead as great and she becomes sacrifice symbol for family. I feel theses serial want to give a message to society that have patience, get mistreated, manhandled by male lead and one day like fairy tale, male lead will change and she will be treated as queen of house. I don’t know from which perspective I should see the serials. Anyway they meant to get us entertain by display manhandling of female from male of house.

Just stay and think, if any person abuses you physically or emotionally then that can be treated as domestic violence.

Domestic violence can be defined at three levels:
·         Physical Abuse
·         Emotional Abuse
·         Sexual Abuse
I know that many of you are tolerating it as habit or under fear of broken home or for your kids. But trust me, if you are facing the domestic violence in any form then you are putting yourself and future at edge:

·         You are putting your self-respect at edge of die

·         You are putting future of your kids at edge. Either due to seeing or feeling domestic violent behavior in home ,either kid become extra introvert or suffered by split personality. They can grow at broken level and behave in same or more cruel way with others to take out their anger. By tolerating domestic violence trust me you are not helping your kid. Instead of that, you are pushing them into mental darkness.

·         You are also putting next generation to get ready to tolerate and live hell the way you are living. You are passing this domestic violence as legacy to woman (for tolerating ) and male (to do anything inhuman with woman)

Always remember change starts form you. Nobody will come and change your life over the day specially when you are not trying to break your silence. This has to be you, only you can help yourself then you can help others too. Please stand up and say no to domestic violence. 
I am also saying to modern age woman; don’t fight for equal rights with male. Male and female both are different creatures and you cant compare two different creatures. Just fight for your self-respect and take stand up to get human behavior. Also, one day you become mother, mother in law and any other relation, so please just don’t forget you are human first. Don’t be  revengeful ever. Change yourself and change the others around.

Same time I am also saying to guys, please just be human and treat others also as human. Everybody, just believe in live and let live. Don’t be trying to dominating in your relations.

Step up and join your hands against any kind of violence. Be the change and then think about bringing the change. Change always start from yourself first.

                       



24-hour National Domestic Violence
Freephone Helpline
0808 2000 247

Please read this article, this is very informative:

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